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Monday 10 April 2017

Your submissions: Grey Lynn dad

Posted in: Comment, True Stories
By Daily News staff - 14th December 2012

We are sharing some of the thousands of submissions being made for marriage equality. This Grey Lynn dad writes: “All I want is for my husband to have the legal right to act on my behalf should I fall sick no matter where in the world we might be, that they would respect who he rightfully and lawfully is.”

If you would like to share your submission, just email it to We are happy to remove names for more sensitive submissions.

Dear Politicians

File photo
I’m a father of two beautiful children. My daughter who just turned 13 and starts high school next year, and my son who is about to turn 11 and will start intermediate next year. I have a respectable job with a reputable company and have paid taxes since my first proper job when I was about 18. I studied at university to gain a degree and worked hard, even while at university to pay back my student loan so that I had no debt to society. At the age of 37 now, I live in a beautiful home in Grey Lynn, Auckland. I live there with the love of my life who I have been with for seven years. Together our little family of four has two other members, a cat called Harry and a dog called Sally. We have a loving family unit and a group of giving and loving friends who we have surrounded ourselves with to create our version of a “village”.

Both my love and I were raised within strong Christian homes. Our families to this day are practising Christians. They taught both of us to have good morals, to do the right thing, to give what we can when we can, to be kind, to love, to respect, and to include others. To this day we both live true to those morals handed down to us by our parents, morals that we both value and hand on to our children.

My life has been so blessed with family, with love and with acceptance.

I am gay. And today I write to seek your support for the Marriage Amendment. It’s simple for me. It’s about equality. It’s about acceptance. It’s about one law for all. I am like you.

I would like to seal my love and commitment with the man that I love, without differentiation, without discrimination and with lawful recognition. That if something was to happen to me as the biological father of our children, that my husband would have legal rights to be with and to care for our children. All I want is for my husband to have the legal right to act on my behalf should I fall sick no matter where in the world we might be, that they would respect who he rightfully and lawfully is.

It’s simple for me. I want NZ to no longer have (statistically) one of the highest LGBT suicide rates in the world. I want the youth of today to understand that they do not need to take their life because they are being told that they are not normal! And that they realise that we as a country (known for blazing the way) recognise differences and celebrate those differences.

It’s simple for me. I want youth to not have to go through years of hiding who they truly are, trying to be more masculine, trying to conform, or trying to be normal like I did. I want youth to never have to undergo that additional pressure during the most impressionable years of their life. It almost broke me, but I survived where so many don’t.

It’s simple for me. I live by all the same rules and laws as all of you. I pay tax the same way you all do. I schooled and studied and gained a degree at the same university that some of you may have. I shop in the same supermarkets, abide by the same road rules when driving, and help people in need when I can just like many of you.

I am like you. I love and care for my children. No one, including their biological mother can dispute that. Together with her and her husband, we have created the most amazing and loving parenting group that is second to none.

I am like you. I love and care for my husband. No one can dispute that.

Throughout the arguments for and against the amendment, someone has said something really poignant that has stuck out in my mind, that you (our MPs) have the opportunity to make right something that is categorically an issue of equality. This was in response to someone’s comment that it should be put to vote by the people of New Zealand. The individual then spoke about whether in today’s society, would we put to vote the equal rights of African American people to live freely? Would we put to vote the equal rights of women and their ability to lawfully vote? I don’t think any of you would dispute that these are absolutely laws for which those that govern our nation needed to and did make right. I ask that you also see how the equal rights for LGBT people to marry is also an opportunity for you to put right something that is so discriminating. To make a stand that we as a nation value acceptance.

I write to you today to please ask that you help make sure that there is one law for love. That I can legally seal my love the same way many of you have sealed your love with someone special. It’s simple for me. I am like you. Daily News staff - 14th December 2012

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