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Thursday 10 November 2016

Nigel Latta on same-sex parenting

Posted in: Worth Checking Out, Ask Our Expert
By Nigel Latta - 6th July 2014


We just stumbled across a gem of a blog from popular psychologist Nigel Latta, who offers some heartwarming words of common sense on the issue conservatives like to beat their drums so loudly about.

“Despite claims to the contrary from some of the more conservative aspects of society, same-sex parents are nothing new. In fact, female Laysan albatrosses have been doing it for thousands of years. A percentage of them pair up with other similarly inclined lady albatrosses and raise happy, well-adjusted chicks. What’s more, the other more traditional albatross families don’t seem to care. No one gets upset, and no one starts a petition,” Latta writes.

He says arguments against same-sex parent families are “wrong and silly”.

“If we put the prejudice issue aside, the difficulties that same-sex parents face are much the same as those that any blended family will face. It’s also likely that as more same-sex couples are able to enjoy the stabilising effect of marriage, which has previously been available only to heterosexual couples, some of the instability which has traditionally characterised same-sex relationships will also change.”

Latta also discusses the question of role models, saying ‘who’s the mum and who’s the dad is a question often raised by people who don’t understand the relationship’.

“This would be a sensible question if there was only one way mums and dads can be, but of course there are infinite variations in how these roles are played out. There is no one accepted way for a mother to be, or a father to be. Some dads are stoic, and emotionally aloof, and some cry at the sad bits in movies. Some mothers are soft and girly, and some mothers take their daughters bow-hunting, where they kill, gut, and carry out wild boar.

“There is no singular definition of the ‘mum’ role or the ‘dad’ role; there are just mums and dads, who all do things in their own way. There’s no right way to do it, apart from two people who love each other, with two different personalities, doing the best they can to raise their kids to be good people. Same-sex couples . . . same thing.”

Latta’s ‘things to remember’

·         Your family is just the same as everyone else’s.
·         Your children don’t need a mum and a dad role model, they just need two good role-models.
·         Everything else applies just as much to your family as it does to all the other types of families.

Read the full blog here

Nigel Latta - 6th July 2014