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Thursday 10 November 2016

Ask Our Expert: Coming out

Posted in: Ask Our Expert
By Vaughan Meneses - 8th December 2011

Vaughan Meneses, OUTLineNZ's General Manager
We launch our new 'Ask Our Expert' section with a question from a reader which is at the very crux of why this site exists: "I'm wondering if I could get some advice on coming out of the closet please." OUTLineNZ's General Manager Vaughan Meneses replies:

Coming out can be one of the most difficult and at the same time most liberating experiences of your life. But coming out should always be a process that you remain in control of and make your own choices about.

Your gut instinct is always going to be your best guide on how and when you decide to tell people, listen to that instinct. Being prepared for a range of different responses is also a very good thing to be ready for. Some people may say "Finally! I always knew you were"; and to others it will come as a big surprise.

Be aware that you have had much longer to deal with this information about yourself than other people around you have, and it can take them some time to adjust their feelings and understanding of you. This is often the case with close family members, who may experience a range of emotions, some positive and some negative, before they accept you as you are.

Remind people that you are exactly the same person today as you were yesterday; it is only their understanding of you that has changed.

It can be helpful to be aware of places where family and friends can have more information - they may want to check out some books in the library, or they may wish to give OUTLine a call to talk it through.

Whatever you choose to do, just make sure that you provide yourself with the right support and tools in case things don't go according to plan, and don't be in a rush to blurt it from the mountain tops at every opportunity. This is just one facet of who you are - you are still a fully rounded individual with many other aspects to your life and character.

For more advice:

Phone 0800 OUTLINE or 0800 688 546  and

Do you have a question you need an expert to answer? We want to help by matching you up with a glbti expert!

Email or get in touch through our contact forms.

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Vaughan Meneses - 8th December 2011