Excerpts from “Trump Temptation: The Billionaire and the Bellboy”

October 29, 2016 in General

1. “My loins trembled as the scent of toupee adhesive and spray tan swept through my nasal cavity.”

2. “It was him. It was Donald! He stood there in front of me, like a tall stallion. With his oily orange skin glistening in the sunlight as if he were a soggy cheeto [sic], his hair unkept and messy, like a gorgeous rat’s nest. He was beautiful.”

3. “His voice wrapped around my body like queso around a smothered burrito.”

4. “His gorgeous ass flapped behind him like a mouthwatering stack of pancakes in his pants.”

5. “I had to admit it, I wanted his geriatric 2006 Perez Hilton jello body, and I wanted it bad.”

6. “His Wikipedia page says he’s 69 years young, what a magical number. I’d like to find out more about that. It also says that his nickname is The Donald, but I’m pretty sure they mean Daddy.”

7. “The door cracked open and there he was, handsome as ever, like a giant melting fat carrots with fake hair.”

8. “The only thing I knew was that I wanted to ride the elevator to the top of his Trump Tower.”

9. “His hands felt like an old dried out gingerbread house. I was in love.”

Source: Elijah Daniel: Trump Temptations: The Billionaire and the Bellboy:

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