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Sunday 11 October 2015


Parents who are getting it right

Posted in: True Stories
By Jacqui Stanford - 3rd December 2014

For all too many of us, coming out to parents can be one of the toughest experiences of our lives. Sadly some parents still react in the worst ways, so we’ve decided to celebrate the ones who are quite simply awesome.

“We would now like to present our wonderful son”

The latest example of parents who just get it is heading to viral status across the globe. Queensland mum Yolanda Bogert took out a classified ad in the birth notices of the Courier-Mail, to explain:

“In 1995 we announced the arrival of our sprogget Elizabeth Anne as a daughter. Oops our bad. We would like to present our wonderful son – Kai Bogert.”

Yolanda Bogert says it was “a no-brainer”, telling the Courier-Mail “I needed to show my son I support him 100 per cent and wanted to let the world know that.”

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Also check out: A letter to … my transgender teenage son 

“We are out, like you now”

When a dad overheard his son on the phone with a friend discussing his struggles to tell his parents he was gay, he left his son what has been dubbed “the best note ever”:

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“To me it makes no difference”

New Zealand has its own amazing parents too. Casey Moore sent GayNZ.com a letter from his dad, telling him "I already know you are gay" and "I love you just as much now, as I did when you were born".

Moore had written a brief email to his father wishing him a happy birthday.

Hi dad,

Casey here, how have you been just thought I would flick you an email for your birthday saying hi.
Sorry contact between us has been poor, I have just been going through a bit of issues and I have been feeling really awkward, especially around the males of the family.
Any way best wishes for you birthday!

Goodnight

His dad replied:

Hi Son!

Sorry about taking this long to reply to you. It was really nice to hear from you on my Birthday.
I know you have been hesitant to tell me, but I already know you are Gay.
To me it makes no difference. You are still my Casey, and I love you just as much now, as I did when you were born.
We are all who we are. The main thing is that you are happy being who you are. At least you have found out your sexual identity now, rather than pretending to be someone that you are not.
I have seen a photo of you and James. You both seem very happy together, and from what I have heard, he sounds a very nice person. Maybe next time you are back in Tauranga you will bring him around and introduce him to us. Both Tess and I would like that.

Anyway Thanks again for being in touch.
Take care of yourself
Lots of Love
Dad

“If I have gay children”

North Carolina pastor John Pavlovitz wrote a blog beautiful blog post, which became a global sensation, in which he ruminated about the possibility his children might be gay.

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“Maybe it’s because I have many gay people in my family and circle of friends. It’s in my genes and in my tribe.

“Maybe it’s because, as a pastor of students, I’ve seen and heard the horror stories of gay Christian kids, from both inside and outside of the closet, trying to be part of the Church.

“Maybe it’s because, as a Christian, I interact with so many people who find homosexuality to be the most repulsive thing imaginable, and who make that abundantly clear at every conceivable opportunity.

“For whatever reason, it’s something that I ponder frequently. As a pastor and a parent, I wanted to make some promises to you, and to my two kids right now…”

The promises are that he won’t keep it a secret, he will never pray for them to be ‘fixed’ - only to be protected from hatred - that he will love them and that if they are gay, they are gay.

“What did I do wrong that you don’t already know this?”

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Jack Freedman recently shared his story of coming out to his tough ex-marine father more than two decades ago. He wrote his father a lengthy letter, which included:

“What I need to tell you is that I’m gay. I think you may have already guessed. You may have guessed a long time ago. I don’t know. There are tears running down my face as I write. Why? Relief? Excitement? Fear? Probably a bit of each. I’m so worried that this will change the way you see me. I’m worried that you are jaded and influenced by society’s attitudes towards gay people. I’m so scared that assumptions and stereotypes and fears will take over and nothing will be the same between us anymore.”

The next time he saw his dad, it went like this:

“When I came back, he must have heard the car in the driveway because when I walked in the house he was standing in exactly the same place he had been when I left him an hour earlier. I stood there by the door and looked at him across the entryway. He just stood there, motionless, his hands at his side. He held the letter, unfolded and dangling from the fingertips of one hand. He just stood there looking at me. I stood there looking at him. I couldn’t move and somehow felt that a large part of however I was going to feel about myself for the rest of my life was about to be determined by whatever words were going to come out of his mouth.

His eyes were wet. No tears, but just barely. And in a tone of voice tinged with ‘what did I do wrong that you don’t already know this,’ he said, ‘Jack. You’re my son. I love you no matter what.’”

Do you have incredible parents? We love sharing happy stories like these! Just email jacqui@gaynz.com 
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Jacqui Stanford - 3rd December 2014