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Saturday 11 April 2015

Urzila Carlson, on tying the knot

Posted in: Hall of Fame
By Jacqui Stanford - 13th October 2014

NZ’s most eminent lesbetarian comedian Urzila Carlson is getting married next month. She tells that jandals are in and poofy dresses are definitely out … and why she thinks John Key should pay for all the same-sex weddings!

First things first, the popular self-deprecating comedian makes it clear she will not be wearing a big poofy dress when she and longtime partner Julie tie the knot. In fact that is a “heck no”.

“I just want to be comfortable. I'm pretty laid back so I think a big poofy dress is too over the top for me.”

Carlson says it will be an outdoor “nice relaxed wear your best jandals and good shorts” day, with good food and kids welcome, as “one of us really wanted a pool party kind of wedding”.

She’s far from a bridezilla, in fact she isn’t even stressed. “We are having a laid back wedding and we are very similar in our approach to all things proper and formal, we just sat down, made a list with the basics like need a cake: check, need food: check, clothes: check, etc. and organised it.”

However her advice to anyone about to get hitched is to watch for all the hidden costs. “You will pay for things you didn't even know were things so save a bit more! All I'm going to say is FONDANT CAKE TOPPERS. Stay calm you are marrying the person you love so don't fight about it.”

Of course she is looking forward to all the comedic material the day will bring, but all jokes aside, yes, she agrees it is pretty awesome to have the right to marry the woman she loves.

“However at the moment I feel that John Key should pay for all the gay weddings everywhere because we were previously disadvantaged, ha ha ha, that'll teach ‘em to discriminate!”

Carlson’s status as a devout ‘lesbetarian’ is well known, as something she regularly brings up in her shows. She says the public has been really nice about the news she is getting married - with heaps of people actually offering to bake a cake for the occasion!

“People have no issue one way or the other about my sexuality and that's how I think it should be. In a perfect world people should give less of a shit about my sexuality than they do about my favourite colour … which is green or really any earthy tone, brown and orange is good too.”

You won’t see a splashy story about the day in a woman’s magazine. Carlson is calmly protective of the privacy of her fiancé and their child, saying the appearance of sharing plenty about her personal life is an illusion.

“I don't really share much at all because I do think that keeping things private is very important simply because I chose this career and life and it's just happening to my family.

“I can't choose to shove them in magazines and talk about them it's not fair. Plus once their information is out there it's out there forever I can't take it back. Damn interwebs!” 

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Jacqui Stanford - 13th October 2014