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Monday 08 November 2010


Why can't we be friends?

Posted in: True Stories
By GayNZ.com - 3rd July 2010

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Michael Stevens' blog I Like Dykes, which questioned why some gay men seem to find lesbians hard to deal with, hit a nerve with a number of GayNZ.com readers, who agree that many of us actually get along just fine.

Here are a few stories and quotes from members of the community, who explain why their gay-lesbian friendships make their lives better.

Anna, 19
I don't even know where I'd be without by best boy! We hang out 24/7 and never get sick of each other. There is just never as much drama with her as there is with my circle of lesbian friends. Not to say he doesn't have drama – he sure does! But we pretty much just have each other's backs and give each other a break from all the crazy stuff going on in our lives. It's actually funny thinking about how often we end up cuddled up in bed together watching movies or talking. Best gay guy and girl friends forever babe!

James, 22
I find that my lesbian friends tend to be more loyal and easier to talk to than my gay/straight male friends and straight female friends. They're also a lot more objective and give the best advice. I don't think it has anything to do with their sexuality though, I think it is more about the type of awesome people I befriend! One thing that is specific to my lesbian friends though, is that if we get wasted together and wake up the next morning with my hand on their boob or their face in my crotch it's a lot less weird. (Or not weird at all depending on which of my lesbian friends it is).

Richie, 22
When I broke up with my boyfriend I went out alone one night drinking. This lesbian chick randomly came up to me and I asked if I was ok. We got talking and ended up spending the whole night hanging out together, right through to an early morning trip to McDonald's! We didn't shut up the whole time. And we haven't shut up since. She's become one of my best friends and I hope she always will be. I don't understand why some gay men and lesbians don't like each other. It's ridiculous. I say get over it.

Aucklander, 46
I have so many dear and kind lesbian friends it's difficult to know where to start in describing how precious they are in my life. It's a very different dynamic than I have with my straight or gay friends. With my lesbian acquaintances I discuss cooking, gardening and, well, sex. With my gay male friends I usually talk exclusively about sex or men, so the cooking and gardening chats are a nice change sometimes!

Jax, 27
My own best friend is a beautiful gay man who has been my rock for the past eight years. We came out together, he just before me – and he basically paved the way for me to realise who I was was ok, even more than that – it was one of the best parts of who I am. Whether it's making me soup when I am sick, bringing me tissues and hugs and watching crap TV with me when I get my heart broken, or just laughing his ass off with me in a hotel room bed at three in the morning, he is a constant tide of calm in my life. We often joke we are like a platonic married couple, when I buy him shirts and he fixes anything that breaks in my apartment. Our struggles are the same and our victories are shared. The only difference between us is that he likes boys and I like girls. That's all.

It seems like there's a lot of gay men and lesbians cuddling up in bed together going on! Here are a couple more quotes from readers to keep the gay-lesbian love-in alive:

"I don't have a specific story, mainly because the gay men in my life are all wonderful and make my life a joy. I know that if I ever need them they are there, even if it's just for a bitch session:)"

"Everyone is great in their own special way..love ya all...gay lesbian...mwah mwah :)"

"What's the point in hating? We're all in the same boat really. Why not just have each others backs?"


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GayNZ.com - 3rd July 2010