National Library of New Zealand
Harvested by the National Library of New Zealand on: Nov 8 2010 at 6:48:23 GMT
Search boxes and external links may not function. Having trouble viewing this page? Click here
Close Minimize Help
Wayback Machine
GayNZ Logo & Link
Monday 08 November 2010

Hey you!

Posted in: Living Well, Features
By Julz Darroch - 21st October 2010

Hey you,

…. if you were the fat kid at school, the wimpy one, the one who got teased, the one who didn't fit in. The one who hid in the basement toilets for PE every week for a whole term without anyone missing you.

You wore white sandshoes and that stupid PE skirt with the black towelling shorts underneath and hated every minute of having your wobbly white thighs exposed….

…. the one hiding behind the computer, I know you're there.

You're on the internet so I know you're watching, you've noticed that the 2nd Asia Pacific Outgames are on in Wellington next year. Maybe you've even been to the website or joined the facebook group.

Secretly you'd love to get out there and compete at the games, stand up and be counted, have your moment in the spotlight, your theme song playing; coming across the finish line yelling “who's the bitch now, bitches”.

But right now you're behind your computer.

You have a couple of choices- you can sit behind your computer, having revenge fantasies about getting back at Robert Melody from the sixth form and playing spider solitaire OR you can take another look at that Outgames website and see if there is a way to channel that energy into something a little more ‘positive'(and legal).

Not for you? Uh Huh? I know all the excuses. I invented a third of them (prior to that I forged Miss Mason's signature on the school's attendance sheet)

Excuse 1: You're not fit enough

Take another look at the categories, you'll see that there are a range of levels in many events, from elite (she ran before she could walk) level through to novice (runs? Aren't they what you get in tights?).

Still not convinced? Why not get involved in some of the other events surrounding the games; there are plenty of ways you can help without leaving your seat (or your trainers).

Excuse 2: You're not cute enough

Cue carpet legged, macramé armpitted lesbian separatist RANT in 3….2….1…….Did we spend half our lives casting off the shackles of heterosexuality order to limit ourselves by another set of boundaries. Huh?

You could see it as your duty, nay, your obligation, to strike down the evils of this oppression by donning your shorty shorts (100% cruelty free cotton ones of course) and joining in….

Excuse 3: You don't know anyone to train with

It can be hard to get along to a new sport when you don't know anyone.

But good news comes your way: Ex high school popularity-free cast offs who get up the courage to finally give something new a go are everywhere. We are at the back of the field, the gym or the class, hoping no-one sees us.

You are welcome to join us here at the back. (the password is ‘commando-m')

Excuse 4: You don't know where to start

Go to the Outgames website and click through, you'll see there are plenty of contacts for people within the Outgames and within each individual sport.

Open an email and start with “I want to participate but don't know how- HELP”.

If it's fitness advice you're after feel free to email me, (don't forget the password).

Excuse 5: I have no idea what are you talking about.

The Outgames is for all of us, not just the fit ones, the young ones and the cute ones. It's for all of us, but only if we put our hands up and get involved. I dare you…


Julz Darroch is a Wellington-based Personal Trainer and Fitness Educatorwith 15 years ofexperience in the fitness industry.

Send your fitness-related questions and personal training enquiries to




Julz Darroch - 21st October 2010

   Bookmark and Share