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15 April 2010, 01:37:AM


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Author Topic: Monogamy within gay relationships:  (Read 738 times)
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BluntMuffin
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« on: 06 February 2010, 01:24:PM »

I just read the story regarding this and I feel it is aload of shit.
I know gay couples who have been together over 5 years and havent had the need to go outside it for sex

My bf and I are close to 4 years together.He is THE ONE.
I dont desire anyone else.Took me 12 years of being single to find him.

We are as much in love now as what we were @ the beginning.We made a commitment to each other and it stays that way,because thats how it is

The problem IMHO is that we all get lumped together in the results of surveys such as the one that was conducted because they asked a bunch of skanky Aucklanders.

Call me old fashioned but its the way I am and I am proud to believe in monogamy and committing to one person Smile
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halogen
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« Reply #1 on: 06 February 2010, 01:27:PM »

Link?
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irishkiwi
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« Reply #2 on: 06 February 2010, 01:30:PM »

Hubby and I have been 2ghter comming up 9 years - and in all that time only ever been jst the 2 of us.

There is a lot of assumptions made about gay relationships - one of the biggest being that becuase its 2 guys there is almost zero chance of them being faithful.
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BluntMuffin
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« Reply #3 on: 06 February 2010, 01:32:PM »

Link?


http://www.gaynz.com/articles/publish/25/article_8470.php
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BluntMuffin
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« Reply #4 on: 06 February 2010, 01:36:PM »

Hubby and I have been 2ghter comming up 9 years - and in all that time only ever been jst the 2 of us.

There is a lot of assumptions made about gay relationships - one of the biggest being that becuase its 2 guys there is almost zero chance of them being faithful.

Congrads Smile

I agree re assumptions.Its like it s acceptable and the norm thing to do"


Call me old fashioned whatever,I actually dont give a fuk

If youre with someone in a relationship,why be in it if you're looking for sex outside it

Hetero or Homo

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irishkiwi
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« Reply #5 on: 06 February 2010, 01:47:PM »



Lol, how can one take an article such as this seriously, when they mispell Auckland and dont realise 50% is half not 53% Lol(quote "Half (53%) of Aucland...")
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BluntMuffin
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« Reply #6 on: 06 February 2010, 01:54:PM »

But its groundbreaking research. lol

I just feel imo that this portrays gay men are all slappers.

"There is quite a serious American book dating from about 1984 called The Male Couple, by McWhirter and Mattison," he recalls. "It says that the gay relationships which are purely monogamous do not last as long as the ones where there is an acceptance of some sexual connection outside the relationship, within delineated boundaries. In their sample, not a single monogamous relationship lasted above about five years."

What a load of shit.Again generalising this statement based on the people surveyed.

I do take this seriously.It paints gay men in a negative light and unable to have monogamous relationships.
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irishkiwi
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« Reply #7 on: 06 February 2010, 01:56:PM »

To be fair I do think gay guys are faaaarrr more active than other grps.

However the idea that we cannot have a long term/life long monogamous because we are gay and shag heaps is rubbish.
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fluffycatsdad
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« Reply #8 on: 06 February 2010, 01:59:PM »

I just feel imo that this portrays gay men are all slappers.

"There is quite a serious American book dating from about 1984 called The Male Couple, by McWhirter and Mattison," he recalls. "It says that the gay relationships which are purely monogamous do not last as long as the ones where there is an acceptance of some sexual connection outside the relationship, within delineated boundaries. In their sample, not a single monogamous relationship lasted above about five years."

What a load of shit.Again generalising this statement based on the people surveyed.

I do take this seriously.It paints gay men in a negative light and unable to have monogamous relationships.
Is there not more up-to-date research? This article ignores the social setting of the mid-'80s; openly being in a committed gay relationship was still severely frowned upon, and still is, in some parts of the world.

Also, these so-called "monogamous relationships" - what if the men involved in the study were still screwing around WITHOUT an open relationship?
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deep388
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« Reply #9 on: 06 February 2010, 02:00:PM »

Firstly, to Bluntmuffin & Irishkiwi: Good for both of you respectively!! BigGrin It It feels so good to see posts from gay men championing monogamy... Smiley

For me this issue is a totally scary one. I would like a truly monogamous relationship, as I like to feel the security of having both the emotional and sexual fidelity from someone, and I will return it if I get it. I am currently single and would like to get "hitched" one day, but there seem to be few gay men out there that want monogamy as I do, so it seems I have to make a choice either to become promiscuous or remain celibate and the former is something I absolutely have no interest in AT ALL. Hopefully, I'll be proven wrong at some point and meet a great guy with the same values, but the cynical part of me is extremely doubtful of that happening.
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fluffycatsdad
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« Reply #10 on: 06 February 2010, 02:03:PM »

Firstly, to Bluntmuffin & Irishkiwi: Good for both of you respectively!! BigGrin It It feels so good to see posts from gay men championing monogamy... Smiley

For me this issue is a totally scary one. I would like a truly monogamous relationship, as I like to feel the security of having both the emotional and sexual fidelity from someone, and I will return it if I get it. I am currently single and would like to get "hitched" one day, but there seem to be few gay men out there that want monogamy as I do, so it seems I have to make a choice either to become promiscuous or remain celibate and the former is something I absolutely have no interest in AT ALL. Hopefully, I'll be proven wrong at some point and meet a great guy with the same values, but the cynical part of me is extremely doubtful of that happening.
Who wants to write the 21st-century book on the male couple, which discusses the modern concept of monogamy and the possibility of gay "marriage," which has now been opened up to some of us?

And you know you're desperate to prove a point when you have to start quoting from "Queer as Folk," article-writer.
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Ozman
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« Reply #11 on: 06 February 2010, 02:04:PM »


I do take this seriously.It paints gay men in a negative light and unable to have monogamous relationships.

Why is not being monogomous negative?  If you are not cheating, what is the issue?
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irishkiwi
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« Reply #12 on: 06 February 2010, 02:06:PM »

Why is not being monogomous negative?  If you are not cheating, what is the issue?

That is not wat is being suggested as u full well know.

Wat BM and I are saying is that it IS poss to have a monog. relationshiop and be gay. Not once did we say it was the only way.
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Ozman
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« Reply #13 on: 06 February 2010, 02:08:PM »

nor did I suggest you said that.

bluntmuffin thinks that gay men not being monogmous paints them in a bad light.  I don't think it does.  So I am asking why he thinks not being monogmous in a relationship (again, not cheating) is such a bad thing.
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irishkiwi
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« Reply #14 on: 06 February 2010, 02:11:PM »

Why is not being monogomous negative?  If you are not cheating, what is the issue?

Anyway...

Read his posts again. Hes not suggesting wat u r saying.
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