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Sunday 11 October 2009


Who am I

Posted in: NZ Writing
By David Tomkinson - 30th July 2006

I am a gay man. I am convinced my homosexuality is an integral part of my genetic make up. And therefore a natural state, profound and involuntary. I do not see it as as a condition that can easily be distilled into a a few simple references. More as a constellation of feeling and non feeling emotions, thrown together in many combinations.

For many years my conceptual self informed me that being gay was wrong; more than that, sinful. I also perceived it as a mental illness, and if treated I would be 'cured'. I suspect that these beliefs emanated from the religion I was brought up with and endorsed by the Bible no less.

With the advent of AIDS a more secular society joined in, compounding matters by labeling it the 'Gay Plague'. A grave misconception indeed to think that only people who happen to be different from the so called norm would be subjected to the HIV virus. What a stupid assumption to make, and by definition very dangerous.

All these years later I no longer feel the need to justify the way I was made. I now see my homosexuality as valid as heterosexuality. The fact that I belong to a large minority does not disqualify me from membership of the human race. I am the product of my whole self, no less, and no longer wish to compromise same in order to conform to society's' expectations of me..

To suppress my sexual orientation further would mean continuing a life fragmented..... a dysfunctional human being holding tight to what little I am... in Universal terms... unable to celebrate my individuality.

 

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David Tomkinson - 30th July 2006