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Wednesday 08 October 2008


Desperate Dinnerplates: Julz explodes some food myths

Posted in: Features, Living Well
By Julz Darroch - 9th May 2008

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Fat-free snacks, carbohydrate-free meals, mega-magic vitamin supplements… Our gay fitness guru pleads: "Bring back real food!"

All this talk about exercise is making me hungry!

It's heading to winter and quite frankly sometimes it's far too much like hard work to get out of the house and exercise.

Obviously I'm not the only one thinking this, as there is an entire industry dedicated to things that you can put into your mouth to avoid having to move your butt.

MEGA MAGIC VITAMIN SUPPLEMENTS

I love infomercials, especially on the days when even E! True Hollywood Stories are a little taxing.

Some G list supermega star from well before ALL of us were born selling some mega magical, yet all natural supplement that will make you rich AND fabulous before you can click your heels twice and say no place like home.

The truth is that in most cases vitamin and mineral supplements will only work if there is a lack of that particular vitamin in your body. Any excess vitamins consumed via these pills just turn into wee-wees that not only look like gold but have the same financial value.

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Personal Trainer Julz Darroch
CARBOHYDRATE FREE FOOD

Eating too much and doing no exercise makes you fat, cutting out carbohydrate just makes you a dull old queen with no sense of humour.

Carbohydrate hangs out in your body with water so if you eat a low carb diet you'll carry less fluid so thus weigh less. If you eat raw chicken and throw up for 48 hours afterwards you'll weigh less too, it doesn't mean it's a good idea.

WARNING: Carbohydrate is a bit of a slapper, and hangs out with bad company like pies, cakes and biscuits so if you are inviting carb over to party just check out who's coming with him.

FAT FREE FOOD

First off, fat is not all evil, it's what protects our heart and lungs etc from being damaged when we move around and, more importantly, it keep our skins smooth and our hair shiny.

Trouble is with those 97% fat free foods is that they are filled up with other things such as sugar which isn't any better than fat.

FAT-MELTING FOOD

The only way to melt fat is to fire up the Barbie and then take a seat on it. As John Travolta has discovered there is no special food, be it grapefruit, celery, cabbage or brown m&m's that will make it easier to fit into that stunning sequinned number.

This style of eating works on psychological principles, i.e.; they are just f…. with your head.

Every time you go near said grapefruit you are reminded that you are supposed to be getting thinner.

Also, if you eat enough of any food (including those listed above) you'll get full and not be able to fit in anything else.

NO FOOD AT ALL

Mmmm, tasty!! Those sachets of brown paper bag flavoured goodness claim to give you all the nutrients you need without having to worry about eating at all!!

My thoughts? You're going to have plenty of time in your golden years at the lavender palms retirement village sucking food through a straw to have to do it now.

Eat your food and save the bags for your porn.

MORAL OF THE STORY

The sun never sets on eating real food.

Julz Darroch is a Wellington-based Personal Trainer and Fitness Educator with 15 years experience in the fitness industry. She regularly tortures Steve Grey and the Good Morning team on TVOne each Tuesday. Send your fitness-related questions and personal training enquiries to julzdarroch@actrix.co.nz .



Julz Darroch - 9th May 2008