National Library of New Zealand
Harvested by the National Library of New Zealand on: Oct 8 2008 at 8:38:29 GMT
Search boxes and external links may not function. Having trouble viewing this page? Click here
Close Minimize Help
Wayback Machine
GayNZ Logo & Link
Wednesday 08 October 2008

Proclamations of the Red Queen

26th June 2008

Christian Domestic “Discipline”- Or Domestic Violence…?

Posted by: Craig Young

I’ve often felt slightly queasy about the Christian Right’s apparent obsession with reddening rearends for righteousness, and found a rather nauseating little subculture. It’s all about “Traditional Christian Marriage,” or so say its practitioners.  Look, while I find their polarised gender role-playing to be rather quaint, this is going too far.

This, from one of their websites:

 What is Christian Domestic Discipline?A domestic discipline marriage is one in which one partner in the marriage is given authority over the other and has the means to back the authority, usually by spanking.[Oh, I am surprised- C].A Christian Domestic Discipline marriage is one that is set up according to Biblical standards; that is, the husband is the authority in the household. The wife is submissive to her husband as is fit in the Lord and her husband loves her as himself. He has the ultimate authority in his household, but it is tempered with the knowledge that he must answer to God for his actions and decisions. He has the authority to spank his wife for punishment, but in real CDD marriages this is taken very seriously and usually
happens only rarely. CDD is so much more than just spanking. It is the husband loving the wife enough to guide and teach her, and the wife loving the husband enough to follow his leadership. A Christian marriage embodies true romance and a Christian man a true hero.

[Sorry, but I find this polarised and fixed role playing stuff rather objectionable. It inhibits the wife from speaking out about abuse when it does happen. Unlike safe, sane and consensual LGBT SM relationships, there doesn’t seem to be any mention of limits, safe words, etc. And given the general conspiratorial Christian Right animus against feminist domestic violence prevention services, I find this loophole rather worrying-C]

Though this seems unusual in today’s United States, this kind of marriage has been practiced throughout history and is still practiced in many parts of the world today.

[Am I the only one who feels rather queasy at this tradition as an excuse for indulging heterosexual SM within the confines of a conservative Christian marriage, and what it could lead to…??? -C]

So, okay, I’m deeply sceptical about the ‘consensual’ and ‘limited’ nature of this fundamentalist excuse for spanking married women, given the disincentives to do so. What would happen if a conservative Christian male in this sort of relationship didn’t respect the subculture’s “limits?” Would a fundamentalist woman report that abuse to the appropriate authorities?

Apparently, I’m not the only one who does conclude that this is an unhealthy development within fundamentalist sexual culture. And yes, there is such a thing- the notorious Tim and Beverly LaHaye even wrote a fundamentalist sex manual for married couples that encouraged fundamentalist men to take care of their wives needs in the bedroom as a reward for all of that polarised roleplaying and unhealthy extreme female submission outside it.  Mind you, I don’t recall those two going quite this far, or advising their flocks to do so.

First, we have men as spokeswomen (sic) for Concerned Women for America, the US antifeminist group. Now we have Christian “domestic discipline.” What next, conservative “Christian” paedophiles? Oh right, I forgot ,momentarily…there are plenty of those, aren’t there?

Not Recommended:

Christian Domestic Discipline:

Food For Thought:

And these Amazon.Com reviewers are quite scathing about the unhealthy messages for fundamentalist women that they view in this subculture: -

Tags: Politics · Religion

5 responses so far ↓

  • 1 Brenda // Jul 8, 2008 at 11:45 am

    I have just recently found out about this subculture from a friend who saw it much like yourself. I would have to respectfully disagree with both you and my friend in that there appears to be no safe word. I mean granted it doesn’t appear that these women could say “stop” (even if they wanted to) but in this case (of the Christian based one) there does seem to be a limit. It appears to me (from what I have read at this site’s main page) that these men are attempting to lead (control) in a Christ-like way. To me it suggests that they would probably not take the physical aspect of it to a dangerous or threatening level (like what seems to be the norm for DD sites that are not Christian). Plus from what I have read it appears to be an act solely played out on the woman’s butt and not a full assault on her body. If you look at some of the other DD sites you will find some highly disturbing forms of abuse (including but not limited to the use of enemas, rough sex, name calling, public embarrassment, and even whips taken to the submissive partner’s backs).
    I stumbled upon a Yahoo group the other day called “SlavesandmastersforJesus” and almost lost my lunch. No joke, it’s as bad as it sounds. Want to read some really creepy stuff? Go there!! I am not saying the one you listed is normal or right, by any means. I am just saying it is very mild compared to some of the other sites out there.

  • 2 Craig Young // Jul 8, 2008 at 1:12 pm

    I suppose my response to that would be that conservative Christians in New Zealand have campaigned in the past against stronger domestic violence legislation. Sorry, but I am still concerned about this website and what it represents. Are there any adequate safeguards to eject an opportunist who decides to exploit its parameters to go too far and engage in fully fledged domestic violence?

  • 3 Brenda // Jul 8, 2008 at 7:19 pm

    Idk Craig. Really I mean I suppose people can always do that type of crud in or out of the “Christian” realm. I know (for example) that we never hire contractors or anyone who operates under the claim of Christianity because we figure it is something that you either are or aren’t and your actions alone (not words or names) should reflect that. So do I think there is the chance for opportunists being there with the sole intent of perpetuating abuse? Sure, but isn’t that the case for all aspects of life? It’s definitely where “Christians” get a bad rep.
    Look I am not saying it is right or wrong but it seems (from what I have read) that these women (at this site) are content in their choice to live this way and they are adults so it’s their right IMO.
    I’m one of those people who sees something that’s off-the-wall and then gather all the info I can so I will have a better understanding of it. (It’s one of those train-wreck situations that our human nature causes us to explore.) That’s why I was saying there are other sites out there far scarier than this one. I read a story off one where the guy gave his girlfriend (or wife) a soapy enema then proceeded to strap her after first placing a butt plug in (to force her to hold the enema during). No joke! Anyone who has ever had an enema would probably cringe at the thought but as it seems, there are some nuts out there who are ok with it. (I assume they are ok with it because I just can’t imagine how the guy would be able to get all that in and keep it that way without a willing partner.) Another story taught the rules of whipping the wife on the back! The man warned not to strike any higher than the shoulder blades so no one would see the marks under a low cut blouse. Personally I wanted to scream; “What is wrong with you people?!” but is that really my place? (Again all of that was on the site I mentioned.)
    It all seems odd to me and I admit that I can not see how this could possibly work. However the issue for me is how do we impose a judgement against two seemingly consensual adults? I wouldn’t want them telling me what decisions I could or could not make in regards to my marriage. The site you are discussing had a rule that you can’t talk of spanking your kids and really (IMO) as a society that is the only place where we should step in.
    But those are just my thoughts on it and I could be way off, Idk. Either way it was a lot of fun just discussing it with someone! LoL I have been chomping at the bit to discuss all I have seen!!

  • 4 Paul Litterick // Jul 11, 2008 at 2:27 am

    I am not so sure this is about discipline according to Biblical laws. I think this is about kinky sex. The Biblical stuff makes it more acceptable to the practitioners and even more kinky.

    Have you seen the shop? They sell fiction and crotchless pantaloons.

  • 5 Craig Young // Jul 11, 2008 at 6:12 pm

    This seems to be Christian pornography. For shame! Mr Litterick, please write a rebuttal to these naughty godly goings on!!!

Leave a Comment


(Required but not displayed)