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Harvested by the National Library of New Zealand on: Jun 11 2007 at 3:10:40 GMT
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Monday, June 11, 2007

Augie - Auer & Out

Probably just coincidence that the day after the death of Augie Auer, weatherman & global warming denier, is pretty much the coldest day so far this year.

Weatherman Augie Auer dies - Stuff.co.nz

Friday, June 08, 2007

Man's Inhumanity to Dog

Which if memory serves, is a phrase stolen from Charles Schulz.

Dog starved, hanged from tree in Manukau

Bastards.

What do they call the guys..

At the front of pipe bands? The guys who swing a long stick with something metal on top. Actually, they don't seem to contribute much. Maybe they own the rest of the band.

Anyway.

There're a shitload of kids marching past my window behind the aforementioned pipe band at the moment. They're dressed in fluoro orange & wearing matching orange dunce hats.

I surmise they're celebrating school patrols & promoting road safety...

...which is pretty ironic actually, given they're marching down the middle of Lambton Quay in the middle of a working day. Watch out for those buses!

And now, a carbon-neutral* gag:

Exactly one year ago today, Wim Binliner was an unknown 18 year old Swedish tennis player.

Today he's 19.


* 100% recycled from a Not the Nine O'Clock News calendar from decades ago.

Thursday, June 07, 2007

Who in the world is Gilda Kirkpatrick?

Must be an Auckland thing.

The name "Gilda" evokes for me this 1946 Rita Hayworth/Glenn Ford classic film noir.

IDLE VICE: Trashion

So in 25 words or less, can any Aucklander tell me WTF* she is? And what on earth was Ian thinking?

*this has been a google-free post.

Wednesday, June 06, 2007

While we're on the subject

I guess if you're Sir Paul, you can persuade Natalie Portman to get jiggy in your video... and I don't suppose that was supposed to look like a lapdance... ewww...

Rock Town Hall - Minute-by-Minute Review of Paul McCartney's Memory Almost Full

WARNING!!

Um... conmsider yourself warned.

The Long & Winding Road

For reasons too silly to mention, I found myself embarking on a 2.5 hour round trip to SunnyO yesterday afternoon, to pick up a cat & bring him back to town.

There's nothing at all interesting in this, save I was planning to use the reflection time driving, to dream up some proverbs for NZBC. Sadly, the muse was absent.

Happily though, I had one of those wonderful bogun moments, having stopped briefly at New World Waikanae, having travelled thus far listening to Jim Mora & some boring guests, I was turning left back onto an oddly deserted State Highway One, when Jim, brightly announced "And here is Alice Cooper".

And it must be that I haven't heard No More Mr Nice Guy since the 1970s. Yet I remember every lyric (except the name of the preacher that punches him in the nose).

And I blasted North in my Euro Planet Muncher (TM) bellowing:

I used to be such a sweet, sweet thing.
Till they got ahold of me,
I open doors for little old ladies
I help 'em find a seat.
I got no friends 'cos they read the papers
They can't be seen
With me, and I'm feeling real shot down
And I'm, gettin' mean!

Honestly, Marilyn Manson is a wannabe.

But from the sublime to the ridiculous, just a little earlier, navigating the borderline chaos that is Centennary Highway, Mora was pleasant enough to treat us to Paul McCartney's new single, which (have you been reading Doonesbury recently?) was launched yesterday in every branch of Starbucks in the world. Non stop Macca. In fact, non stop very mediocre single song Macca.

This in itself is unremarkable, I'm sure Sir Paul has churned out many, many songs that are not destined for the greatness of some of his earlier work. The strange thing is that I heard this one.

What IS remarkable though, is that later last night, we chanced upon a biopic of John Lennon on Rialto. We missed the first few minutes so I have absolutely no idea who played the main roles, nor what the film was called. They looked kind of like the Beatles if you squinted. Although whoever played Astrid Kirchher looked JUST like Sheryl Lee, who played Astrid in Backbeat.

Well. Maybe not THAT remarkable. All I'm saying is it was poignant, seeing a dramatisation of the glory days, juxtaposed with a boring ditty released that very day. Wonder what Lennon would be doing if he was still around?

Oh, and the biopic played no actual Beatles music, not even when they got to the bit where they were making their own.

Maybe Michael Jackson would only give them the music rights if they let him play Astrid.

Anyway, after all that, skip the Rialto movie, watch Backbeat.

Tuesday, June 05, 2007

Men With Fire

What I love about all YouTube-like movies of people being stupid with fire, are the little touches, like the slow-mo replay of the very moment that the rubber meets the road, or more accurately, the flame meets the accelerant. That "You dumbass" moment that someone funnier than me coined, which is the moment that you realise that you're standing in the middle of high explosive, about to flick... the BIC.

Spare Room » Blog Archive » How To Make A Fireman Very Angry

I also love how, at the end, the very concerned mate approaches, one hand in pocket, the other clutching a pint. It must have looked like a close one.

:)

Hat tip to the Spare Room

Thursday, May 31, 2007

Bwahaha!

Seems I got flayed somewhere for suggesting KD Lang resembles a young Robert de Niro.

Guys! Watch Salmonberries before you comment.

kennedyflairs k.d. page

RIP Simon Lindsay

Sadly missed

AKA Dodderyoldfart at Rest Area 300m

I posted this earlier hoping you'd comment that reports of your demise have been greatly exaggerated.

Oswald Bastable's Ranting: RIP

But it is true.

Go well. We'll miss you terribly. Our thoughts are with your family & friends.

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Can Peter Dunne Dance?

And would we want to see it anyway?

And it's all over for another year, the dreadful music, the dreadful jokes, the dreadful costumes, the dreadful celebs, the dreadful presenters & judges. Goneski.

And worse! Jason Gunn returns to the same timeslot in a couple of weeks. Without me though I'd have to predict.

And Suzanne took the honours. And it seems right. Megan might be a wonderful, natural dancer, but there is something slightly off putting about her. Will Suzanne get her new show & enough dosh to pay the creditors? Time will tell.

Highlight of last night was watching Laws, we gasped a couple of times as disaster loomed, but somehow, he managed not to scone Lauren's head on the floor. Well done. And I never thought I'd say anything like this - but the jive from Cole & Candy took our breath on a couple of occasions too.

All that's left is speculation about next year. Rumour has it that Jeremy Wells, Mark Sainsbury, Tom Scott and Don Brash were approached for the season just ended, I guess we can assume they won't change their minds next year.

We're running out of celebs actually, Nerida says she'll be back as a dancer next year, who will she be paired with?

I haven't investigated foreign Dancing with the Stars series, so I don't know what criteria are employed in choosing contestants there, but here they seem to be:

Sports persons
Shortland St actors
Retired politicians
Retired public service CEOs
TV presenters
DJs

Who does that leave us? Peter Dunne? Clark & Cullen probably won't meet the eligibility criteria until after the next election, but with luck, we can then add Winston to the list. Blumsky? He's a media whore, but is he well enough known outside of Welly?

Mikey Havoc? And/or his cute wife Claire? Simon & Ali? (Actually, I'd tune in to watch Alison Mau dance in her smalls).

Ooh. That reminds me... BRING ON THE DANCING REBECCA SINGH!!

Ahem... How about Judy Bailey then? I bet they asked her already. Damian Christie? (Mate, we'll put in a decent plug so you can have Hayley), Sean Plunket?

I don't know any Shortland Street actors, but it could be any of them.

Alright, I'm well & truly in waffletown now - I throw te forum open to suggestions. Who would you like to see on next year's Dancing With the Stars?