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Damian Christie - Cracker With Attitude | Aug 11, 2005 18:36

Mucho money must've changed hands around the offices of New Zealand as Brent Todd was revealed as one-half of the so-called "celebrity drug scandal".

"Mr Todd wants it known that he has not bought, sold or supplied prohibited drugs," John Billington QC submitted in a memorandum to the court.

I'm not by any means suggesting Todd has done any of the following, but his lawyer's denials aren't exactly an exhaustive list. Hypothetically, a person could have been given drugs for free, simply been in possession of some drugs, attempted to buy, sell or supply any number of narcotics and still be able to claim what Todd has.

I get a bit pissed off about the hypocrisy involved when it comes to people caught dealing drugs. The biggest culprits tend to be young professional "part-time" drug users. Like some young lawyers I know who enjoy getting completely mashed every weekend, presumably to forget the cold grey corporate hell divided into six minute units they suffer during the week. Quite happy to consume the drugs with voracity, but pity the Scum of the Earth they buy them from.

The idea of a "pusher" hanging around like a vulture, incubating addicts is laughable in New Zealand, at least in any social scene I've ever hung around in - although I've never spent much time in the homebake city of Hamilton. It's as ridiculous as a claim I heard on Leighton Smith's show one morning (okay, if you're looking for ridiculous claims, he's got them in spades, but stick with me). A caller (paraphrasing):

"Leighton, if you don't think drugs are available in primary schools, you're living in a dream world. It's all there Leighton, cocaine, crack, heroin, this P stuff…they give it to them for free to get them hooked."

Yes. That's right. Rather than sell the stuff to hairdressers for $350 a gram, it makes a lot more sense to get primary school kids addicted to class A drugs, then relieve them of their 50 cents pocket money each week. Pure evil genius.

Just as laughable is David Henderson's claim that he did cocaine for weight loss. Sure, it might be a nice side-effect - it's certainly done wonders for any number of super models over the years - but are you sure it didn't have a little something to do with the fact it made you feel fucking awesome? Really? It goes to show how ridiculously body conscious we've become, that it's preferable to say you did coke to lose weight, rather than because you enjoyed it.

I'm off to watch the leaders' debate. I can't wait to see whether Jim and Pete have the gall to make eye contact with JC. As belle de jour Cathy Odgers notes, it's kind of like gate crashing a party you weren't invited to. Onya chaps.

Righto. I'm off to New Caledonia and the Solomons for the weekend. I'll explain why when I get back. Wish me luck.

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